What do men and women really mean…

boy-and-a-girl.jpgIn a woman’s dictionary:

Words —-Meanings

 Yes     = No

 No     = Yes

 Maybe = No

 I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry

 We need = I want.  

It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to

I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something

expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate

I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead]

Men’s English:

I’m hungry = I’m hungry

I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy

I’m tired = I’m tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What’s wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?

What’s wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = let’s have sex now!

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

Let’s talk = I’ll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others

I don’t think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I’m gay.

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About Dr. Afaq Ahmad Qureshi

Physician, writer, broadcaster, journalist, translator, free lance writer, poet, political and social analyst and critic. Writes plays and features for electronic media, interested in numerous things from sociology to medicine to history and art. interest in books and internet, writes for http://www.blogcritic.com also; editor for Internet journal; at http://twitter.com; had so many traumatic experiences blah blah blah...
This entry was posted in Vocabulary and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What do men and women really mean…

  1. afaq says:

    Thank you Adil.

    Like

  2. I came on to your side by google because i was feeling very lonely today and this post make me laugh. thanks buddy.

    Liked by 1 person

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